A Mid-life Guide to Latin American Travel

Hello from the 42 Parallel, and from this South American fan. My hope is that through this guest blog post I will be able to impart some salient travel tips to all of you gentle readers. Please note the conspicuous absence of the words “bad-ass”, “extreme”, and “hard core”.  Words hinted at and alluded to by this writer include the following:  endurance, tolerance, and patience.

So—where to begin…Those of you who have known me for any length of time, know that I have an affinity for words. One of the unexpected delights of this trip has been learning new Latin American words and phrases and then trying to incorporate them into conversations. Unfortunately, some of the favorite new words do not lend themselves with any degree of ease into normal  speech. Case in point; the word POZO.   Very fun to say, with the explosive little puff of air that comes from pushing out that letter P. Sounds like something you could call someone who has made an error in judgment doesn’t it? As in, “What a pozo” It could also be a candidate for the proper name of a  rare flightless bird which is only seen in the 1200 miles stretch of desert between Mendoza and Bariloche, Argentina, i.e., “Look! There goes a pozo”, or, “Oh No, I think we just hit a pozo!”

Did I mention we drove that 1200 + mile stretch? IN A SMALL CAR? All 1200 miles of it? Which is like driving from Seattle to San Diego in two and a half days. I think over half of that distance was gravel. There was some masterful driving and pot-hole dodging on that road. But I am digressing.

No doubt you have been anxious to learn  the meaning of the word pozo, so you too can impress your pals with it at the next cocktail party or rousing game of BALDERDASH. Pozo is the word for ‘well’ (as in a deep hole filled with water)   I know, I was a bit let down myself,  it being a fun word with so much potential and then falling short of the mark and all, but there you go.

How about if I give you a few of my favorite helpful Latin American Spanish phrases to cheer you up linguistically:

Por favor, hable mas lento. *Please speak more slowly*

Donde estan los servicios? *Where are the bathrooms?*

Falta papel hygienico en el cuarto de bano. *There is no toilet paper in the bathroom*

Cuanto tardaran? *How long will it take? (as in, to get said TP)

Es demasiado! *That is too much!*

Otras dos cervezas, por favor. *Two more beers, please.

Me parece que me ha dado cambio de menos. *I think you may have short-changed me*

Se ha vuelto a encontrar mi equipaje? *Has my luggage turned up yet?*

Vayase! *Go Away!*

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By memorizing the above phrases, you are practically assured of an easy time travel wise in South America.Final helpful hint:I highly recommend  travel with two attractive, young Spanish speaking people who are not only related to you, but love you and are invested in your emotional and physical well-being.

I will now attempt to capture some of the Argentine countryside USING A VERBAL PAINTBRUSH. NOTE: OCCASIONALLY The CAP button sticks on me…just think of it as an emphatic point!

Ready? For you verbal minimulists, I have kept it simple…Argentine Zen style.

BIG

WIDE

DESERT

OLIVE TREES

VINEYARDS/WINE

GOOD WINE, NOT-SO-GOOD WINE, PRETTY BAD WINE

CANNONS/CLOUD SEEDING/HAIL

LAVA—OLD AND COLD

VOLCANO X MANY,MANY,MANY MILES OF THEM (very visibly ring-of-fire-ish)

BIG #2

MOUNTAINS—SHARK FINNED AND SPIKEY TOPPED, SOME WITH SNOW

GOATS

COLUMNAR BASALT/IGNEOUS ROCK/SEDIMENTARY ROCK/METAMORPHIC ROCK…LOTS OF ROCK

DINOSAUR BONES *ALSO BIG, OLD AND PLENTIFUL!

GIGANTASAURUS (I am not making up this name)*BIGGEST OF THE BIG, AND A LOCAL FIND TO BOOT*

POZO      HA–just seeing if you are paying attention .We actually did stop at a roadside attraction in the middle of the desert, to see a H U G E Pozo. A Pozo big enough to put a small town in. Wish YOU could have seen it too. Pretty sure this one is on the Top Ten Pozo’s of the World list.

COSMIC RAYS (this is not nonsense…they have the biggest cosmic ray gathering station in the world here…we saw the pink ‘gathering pods’ (my word) sprinkled over several hundred miles of Patagonian desert) Very Sci-Fi looking

DINOSAURS #2, FOSSILS, PETRIFIED WOOD, MORE FOSSILS, RED DUST, GREEN COPPER BEARING EARTH, A TRUE BLUE OF SKY,(my apologies to e.e. cummings,)and GREAT CLOUDS

The doorbell to the paleontology site. “Hola… We would like a tour please?”

GOATS #2 Lots and lots of the little buggers…So far we have eaten goat twice. We did not have to catch, dispatch, or cook the ones we ate. This was a plus.

REALLY BIG +OLD+ TALL+ MOUNTAINS=ANDES

LLAMA’S

HOMEBOY PAMPASS GRASS (not to be confused with Pompous ass, though they do sound similar) GROWING ON THE ARGENTINE PAMPASS. Fancy that…

COWS (SOUNDS BORING, BUT THEY WERE ARGENTINIAN COWS)

GOATS #3 They are everywhere here. The perfect tough guy desert creature.

YERBA MATE’ DRINKING  This includes the entire population of Argentina old enough to sip through a straw!  * Note a Proud Personal Moment here: I am working my way up through the beginning level of tame tea bag mate to the industrial strength twigs, leaves and branches stuff. Must say I think is THE new tonic for this gal. It is not BYOB here, it is BYOM and by this I mean the tea, the cup, the sugar, the silver straw, the hand-tooled leather carrying case. No one leaves home without it. If you are trying to shake the tourista image, buy yourself the whole Mate gear kit ASAP, and you will blend with ease.

FRIENDLY FOLKS

DESERT#2  See above mentioned 1200+ mile opportunity for close observation, which served as our South American desert tutorial.

BEDBUGS (So sorry to have to include this nasty little travel truth, but– in the interest of integrity in reporting, must do. Kate appears to have captured the “I-Have-The-Most-Bites” award. Happily, they are nearly healed, they did not itch much, and she has moved on to greener and cleaner pastures.)

CIPRO & IMMODIUM (don’t ask)

GRILLED MEATS AND MEAT-ANYTHING…This is THE place to come if you are thinking of embracing the Atkins diet as your new way of life. The word to remember is “Parilla:” pronounced, ‘par-ee-jah’. This is the Ultimate  Meaty-Meaty Meat, Meat grill. For you intrepid culinary adventurers, dare I point out that there is an entire ‘OFFAL’ category of grilling possibilities. Nuff said.

BREATHTAKING SCENERY

FAMILY (MINE…although we are sure missing Megan and Tom)*While I am on this subject, I must point out that I consider myself a most fortunate woman to be able to spend INVITED travel time with my adult children*

NEW FRIENDS (KATHERINE –aka:the hiking maven, AND JOHN,-of-the-new-blue shirt) and others as well.

OLD FRIENDS—DIANNE, SYL, WESTERN FRIENDS, BOTH G-1’s and G-2’s, Port Angeles and Seattle/pals and dear ones everywhere…know we think of you often and wish we could transport you here to share in the beauty of this land. You are always in our hearts, which is a much better spot to be than smushed in with us in the tiny rental car.

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For you delicate readers, I must warn you that a sorrowful confession is now forthcoming…

I do not like Dulce-De-Leche and am feeling a bit heretical, if not hysterical about this. I was prepared to like the stuff, and like the IDEA of it, but have decided that my mother was correct when she told me that I must have taken after my dad’s side of the family when it came to my under-developed sweet tooth. For the sake of science, I will try it one more time. If it still does not rate high on the happy mouth scale, I hereby tithe my future shares of it to all of you who swoon at the mention of it. For now, it is pretty close to the dreaded ‘yuck’.

Signing off for now and wishing you all sunlight days and starry nights with sweet middles in between them,

!CHAO! Penny

PS…You can all be very excited about our shopping score of a  bulk purchase of “Greatest Pan Flute Hits For Easy Listening” We have been whiling away the hours on the road humming along with our personal favorites: The Titanic Theme and The Hotel California.